Familiar Feeling


I haven’t written a blog post for a while and I was wondering why – it’s not like the patriarchy has been dismantled and women are now liberated. Sadly every day is filled with male violence against women. Every. Day.

My lack of posts has timed with the rise and roar of many more women’s voices and campaigns. And that is exactly as it should be.

For 10 months I have written 20 posts on violence against women and children and all of the threads that bind this issue. The majority of posts have explored or have been inspired by my own experiences. I have been supported, encouraged and embraced by so many women to have my voice heard. People have been kind enough to share their own experiences with me because of something I have written – I am consistently humbled and overwhelmed by this. I am honoured to have connected to numerous campaigns and organisations who are women-centred and empower survivors of male violence. I have met so many gorgeous and passionate women who have offered me their solidarity, friendship, fire and sisterhood. I have decided to share my “must read” blogs at the end of this piece – many of the writers are women that I am lucky to have as friends.

So at the start of 2014, I have decided to take a step back. I want to do this because, well….. I have found my voice. Many of my posts have been reflective, talking not only about experiences that have happened to me some time ago, but the distress and emotions that are too in the past. To continue to share my past experiences – at this point in time – no longer seems appropriate or necessary. I have been lucky. As a child surrounded by violence and rape, I was unconditionally loved by two wonderful women. This provided me with the foundation to build emotional resilience and self-esteem. This foundation supported me when I worked through the trauma of my experiences of male violence for 10 years. This process is not over – it will never be for as long as men continue to abuse, rape and murder – but is no longer a part of my every day. I love my blog. I am so grateful that I took the leap to write about areas that I kept secret and hidden for so long. And now I am thankful for a shift in direction. I need to be more available for other women. It is time for me to step back and hear from women who want and need to have their voices heard.

This blog will remain open and I am sure will write again at some point in the future. Until then, read these!

Must read blogs by women who have filled my head and heart –

CarregonnenBlog@Carregonnen – Carregonnen writes powerful poetry, mental health and male violence. We are 2 generations apart and have found sisterhood in each other. I adore her.

CratesandRibbons@CratesNRibbons – Leopard writes about feminism, being a woman of colour, and deconstructs gender, race and sexuality. She inspires me and I love her.

Deeva’s Corner@goddessdeeva Deeva writes about feminism, socialism, politics and sexuality. She is a powerhouse, unapologetic and determined. I like her and her swears.

Elegant Gathering of White Snows@LeStewpot – a gorgeous woman who writes ABOUT women FOR women. She founded A Room of Our Own – A feminist space for women to share writing, poetry & art. Louise encouraged me to write my 1st blog post. I love her very much.

From a Whisper to a Roar@thelionwhoroars Lion writes about male violence in the work place, victim blaming, the criminal justice system and feminism. She is passionate, inspiring and a force to be reckoned with.

Karen Ingala-Smith@K_IngalaSmith – Karen writes about feminism, and male violence and homicide against women and children. Karen is the CEO of Nia, a campaigner @countdeadwomen and a “Yorkshirewoman”. She is without doubt, the most inspiring woman I have ever met. I love her to bits.

One Dames Thoughts@CatEleven Cat is a poet who writes about motherhood, loss, male violence and feminism. Her kindness, friendship and warmth is boundless.

Opinionated Planet@Planets_Blog & @PlanetCath – “The Planets” (yes, they are ‘still a thing’) write about feminism and activism. Two Northern women who try to create a safe and dynamic sisterhood.

POTSy not Potty@IAmJamJar – JamJar writes about living with Postural Tachycardia Syndrome, mental health and self-care. She is warm, thoughtful, compassionate and loving. I am grateful to have her in my life.

Root Veg@umlolidunno – Umlol writes about radical feminism and evolutionary psychology. The woman has a brain the size of a planet. And a heart the size of the sun. She’s a total and utter gorge.

Roweena Russell@r2ph – Roweena writes poetry about women and feminism. She is a feminist activist, and a part of the fantastic @NorthEastFG team. She is a dynamic fireball that makes things happen.


4 thoughts on “Familiar Feeling

  1. Reblogged this on From A Whisper To A Roar and commented:
    Sharing this because I understand the feelings, because I am so happy for Portia – that she doesn’t need to ‘go there’ as often – I think blogs on these topics indeed move in ebbs and flows (I have done the same) and because the links at the end are a pretty neat summary of the women of twitter that make the place a community for me (more so in my ‘other’ twitter handle). Thanks, Portia! All of the love to you! xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s